Wow! Its been a while since my last post and I feel like a little piece of me is missing. It hit me hard on Friday when I was subbing in a 4th grade classroom that was straight up gangsta’ and I thought, “HOLY SMOKES! I would so rather be writing right now!” I was instructed to hit the emergency panic button if there were any fights or a kid “bolted”. I hit it about 5 times during the day! I was feeling sort of horrible, like I have no classroom management skills but as it turns out, this was a day just like any other day in that class! The poor teacher, bless her heart, is at her end.
Anyway, its been busier than normal since I started subbing to complement the income I’m making from tutoring. I’m squeezing my runs and workouts in and preparing meals in record time so I still have time to sleep and play with the people I moved all the way back across the world to be near!
Meanwhile, February is FLYING by and March begins next week and then its the home stretch to South Africa and 2Oceans! Speaking of which, I came down with a little chest cold this week and I’m super paranoid about where it may go (last time I got a chest cold in Korea it spiraled out of control into several months of bronchitis, lots of missed runs, and a marathon that nearly killed me. I am bound and determined to not let it happen this time!
This morning, I was supposed to do a 15 miler. I woke up after 12 hours of sleep (recovering from my day worrying about getting shanked by 10 year olds +a cold) and was feeling less than wonderful. I looked outside and saw a the trees blowin’ and thought, “I will certainly drop dead if I run outside today.” Yes, a little dramatic but I have horrible flash backs to a run I did in Korea that ushered in the months of sickness, the last mile I walked and was coughing so hard I thought my lungs would come up–all the Koreans put on their masks when I passed (talk about embarrassing).
I subjected Josh to my self-talk, reassuring myself I was making the right choice–“I have the endurance, I’m fit now, right? All I need to do is stay healthy and maintain my current fitness and I’ll be hundreds (South African for kick ass) at 2Oceans, right? I shouldn’t subject my body to too much stress when I’m not feeling good, right? I can always hop on the treadmill at my parents this afternoon if I’m feeling up to it, right” Notice how I ended every sentence with “right?” looking for reassurance.
A while later I got a text from my friend Emily. She started running last spring and will be traveling to South Africa with me and running the half marathon at 2Oceans. Her text said, “13!” It was her longest run yet, and the the distance she will be racing in South Africa in April. Her text not only filled me with joy for her (I LOVE when the people I love fall in love with running–that’s a lot of love), but it also inspired me. It gave me the little bit of added energy I needed to get on the treadmill and get an easy 90 minute jaunt in. I wore shorts and a tank top and pretended that the sun coming through the window was actually warm while I listened to Michael Jackson rock, “I’m bad, I’m bad, I know I’m really bad…” and told myself over and over how much of a bad ass I am.
MJ (not me, the other MJ) taught me something last week on my long run. He taught me that its just as important to believe you’re a bad ass as it is to be humble. Equal parts of both will take you where ya want to go. I even caught myself giving myself the “You’re a bad ass” talk on the way to my first day of subbing in a high school math class. I’m telling you, it totally works.
I know I’ve been taking a few bunny trails today, but what I’m trying to say is: 1) Know when to rest and be okay with changing your training plans, and 2)Believe in yourself. Have the humility to say, “Dang, this is hard…” but the confidence to say, “but that’s what makes me such a bad ass because I’m going for it (whatever “it” may be–it could be a nap)”.