Remembering

Today marks the two year anniversary of Payton’s accident.  It marks the day that ushered in 5 days of hell for my family as we desperately prayed for a miracle and waited as doctors ran tests and tried to reduce the swelling in his brain.  Today I’m remembering the feelings–emotional and physical–I experienced from the moment I woke up in Cape Town to an in box full of “CALL HOME NOW!” e-mails to the time I made it home and was met at the hospital entrance by my parents and told Payton would be taken off life support in the morning.

Today I’m remembering the tragedy and grief my family has experienced but also remembering the joy that Payton brought.  His life, although so short, was vibrant and full.  Below I have reposted something I wrote last September. Please do remember my family this week–hold us in your prayers and send us peace, love, and joyful memories of our little man.
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Gratitude, Grief, and things that go Ba-Bump.

My cousin, Allie, is an actuaryI once asked her if she could figure out my chances of dying.  She smiled and told me not to worry about it (as it turns out there’s a 100% chance).  There are so many ways to die– disease, violence, and accidents– it seems like a miracle that any of us make it as far as we do.

From one cell we grow into these super complex beings. Each with the same basic anatomy but with completely different characteristics and personalities. I’m not even going to pretend to know how it all works but what I do know is that it is pretty miraculous that it all keeps doing its thing with little help from me.  I used to like to go under water in the bathtub and listen to my heart beat—it amazed me (still does) that this thing inside of me just kept ba-bumpin’ away to keep me alive.  I love to feel my heart beating faster while I’m running.  I also like to lie very still and see just how slow I can get it to go.  It’s really quite incredible.
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